IT JUST GOT WORSE

The indisputable fact that my wife's cat is out to kill me is rather well known. But it just got worse.

Maggie. Sauron. Meatloaf. MGW (Maggie Gravity Well, because she's so fat she creates her own gravity well). And now: Toxicat.

I got the flu a month ago. Seems like everyone did. Uck.

Immediately after I got better, I noticed a string of perpetual symptoms: itchy runny eyes, congestion in the sinus and chest, and generally itchy skin. Figured it was the flu leftovers.

Then, one day while getting ready to write, I noticed a bunch of cat hair on my desk. Sitting there, I wiped it all off onto the floor and my lap. Cat hair everywhere.

Immediately, those symptoms hit hard. Barely breathe. Eyes almost swollen shut. Skin so itchy I scratched myself bloody. It took a couple hours to recover, and for some of it I hung my head out of the window to get some cold, crisp, Maine air.

Did you know cat allergies can strike at any age? Well, now I do. I think maybe it had something to do with the flu virus, because viruses are weird. But I don't really know about that.

What I do know is that my wife's evil cat now has a new way to kill me. It's only a matter of time.

No word yet on whether my wife will choose me or the cat. I haven't presented an ultimatum because I don't want to know the answer.

Seriously, look at this beast glare. The shear malice! And please pass the Benadryl.