MEAT THERMOMETER

There's no good name for an oven thermometer. That's the best one I could come up with. The rest makes the middle-schooler in me giggle.

And they're not all built the same. I have an old dial thermometer. It's almost impossible to read in a dark oven. I have a cheap digital thermometer. It's so slow, it takes about a dozen singed knuckle hairs to home in on the actual temperature.

Yes. I'm a middle-aged man. I have knuckle hairs. Deal with it.

If you grill or smoke meats, you really need a good thermometer. The food needs to be hot enough to kill all the bugs and amoebas or whatever lives in it. You'll want to know where it is on the rare (intestinal worms) to well done (hockey puck) spectrum. And some meats do well if cooked to a high enough temp to break down collagen. For example, a pork butt does well at 205 degrees (F, not C. Whatever C is.) I find chicken best at about 170 to 180.

Rack of ribs smoked at my house. Didn't survive my three sons.

Anyway, I was watching a YouTube video on smoking briquet, and the dude used a particular thermometer. Forget the rub and the smoke ring and whatever. That thermometer looked awesome.

Here it is, currently sold by amazon for $13. https://amzn.to/4vhsoAo

 https://amzn.to/4vhsoAo

Seriously. Comes up to temp before your arm gives out under that ridiculously heavy smoker lid. Precise enough to avoid a lip blister, even though you know you'll take a bite a nanosecond after you turn the heat off. Lit for dark smokers at night because you timed it wrong. And big digits for those of us old enough for knuckle hairs.

Warning: don't wash this. Just clean the probe off as instructed. Or swish the metal part in the water and dry with a napkin. Or use a wet wipe, your wife's favorite dish towel, or let the dog lick it off. Whatever, cleaning it is on you. But if you fumble it and drop it into the dish water, it might stop working. Ask me how I know. But I liked it enough that I immediately ordered another. I even bought one for my dad, just because.

Follow instructions. Push the probe in enough to cover the skinny end. Enter in the top of the meat to keep in as many juices as feasible. And don't press it up against a bone to keep the reading accurate.

If you're delving into the world of smoked or grilled meats, this thermometer is a must have. Just don't call it a flesh probe in front of your teenagers.