ROASTED ACORN SQUASH

Ingredients

• 1 or more Acorn Squash (also worked with Delectable Squash and Buttercup.)

• 2 tablespoons of butter per squash

• 2 tablespoons of maple syrup.

• Salt. Pepper. Whatever dry rubs you got laying around.

Cut the squash in half. I did mine longitudinally, but I don't think there's a wrong way. Get a big knife and be a man about it, but don't cut yourself. Because nothing says pansy quite like running to your wife with blood soaking through a paper towel. You don't want to do that again. I know I don't.

Scoop out the gross stuff inside. Use it to scare young children. Pretend to barf it up and let it plop on the floor. Good for laughs.

Lay both halves of the now-clean squash open side up on a cookie sheet. If you want to be smart about it, line the sheet with tinfoil. Or not.

Brush melted butter on the inside and rim of the squash. Got extra butter? Dump it in the bowl of the squash. More butter = good.

Dump half a tablespoon of maple syrup in each bowl. If you're a Mainer, real maple syrup is required. You flatlanders can do what you want with that fake stuff. Personally, I'd flush it.

Salt and pepper to taste. In other words, I don't care.

Put it in the oven at 400 degrees for at least an hour. If it turns black, you went too long. But I found that even 90 minutes is just fine. Just check it with a fork. If it feels soft, it's done.

Serve this right out of the skin to be eaten with a fork while cleaning your guns. Or scoop it out with a spoon, mash it up, and share with your spawn. If they'll eat it.

Remember: clean up your mess. Your wife will appreciate you cooking, but not if you make her clean up. You're not a warlord. If Jesus could wash feet, you can do the dishes.